I learned to question my anxious imagination, I have constantly proven it wrong on this trip

By Brittaney Mann

I was not expecting Stratford-upon-Avon to be as calm and nice as it is; I thought every touristy area in England would feel chaotic. 

I had taken a small trip to Cambridge the week before coming here, and it was very busy there — not as much as it is in London. Our stop at Oxford also felt a little busy too. Stratford-upon-Avon is incomparable. I feel like I can find privacy and small areas that remind me of home. My favorite place is a small park that is a four-minute walk from the bed and breakfast. There is no one there most times (and if there are people, they are quiet), the traffic is light, there are various bird species, and I saw a squirrel hopping around there. I also heard, or am at least hoping I am correct that I heard, a nightingale. I had wanted to hear the call of one ever since I learned that many poets wrote about them, so I feel like I am closer to being a real poet. Of course, I say that with a joking tone.  

Taking a visit to Shakespeare’s house is another part of this trip that has also brought me closer feeling like the great English writers of the past. It was very interesting to see where Shakespeare was born. It’s one thing to learn about how his father was a glovemaker and that he lived here in a cottage, but something about visiting his house made me believe it. Believing it might not be the best choice for a word, but it really made me understand that this man lived and slept in a simple house and would lead a life to create masterpieces. 

When I watched As You Like It put on by the Royal Shakespeare Company, I think it was the final notch to solidify my love of both theatre and Shakespeare. I had trouble finding my bearings in the beginning of the play, but at the first point the actors seamlessly went from their actor character to the Shakespeare character, something clicked in my mind and from then on, I was able to follow the play. 

Overall, I enjoyed spending time in England. Something seemed so intimidating about being in a big city and around British people with accents we associate with classiness. The places I visited in London were nothing like that at all. From my classmates I heard anecdotes about rude Brits, but I never experienced that — other than being honked at for crossing when I shouldn’t have a few times.

I loved this month so much, and I am so grateful to have met all the people I did. I did not expect to have a college experience full of outings and friendship. The pandemic and various other difficult (yet necessary for growing) events in my life sent me into a reclusive state; and that was the hardest thing I had ever had to escape. This trip allowed me to live what I had been missing out on. I feel braver and more willing to do what my anxious brain tempts me to not do. I went on a ferris wheel today, and normally the thought of being suspended in the air held only by a metal cage causes my hands to sweat and my legs to feel numb. I felt none of that, well a slight bit of it, before boarding. 

I was skeptical to think I would change after just a month in a country that shares the language of mine; I thought people were just trying to be kind and sell the idea of going abroad to me. I feel more confident in myself and my identity. I am on the path of truly loving myself, and in the most sincere and least dramatic way possible, this trip pushed me to finding patience I had not afforded myself before. 

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Unfinished Love to the Nightingale 

This day seems like one given 

to me by some spiritual being 

maybe chance, also choice 

I find myself walking, slightly 

chilled by the wind, the sun 

hogging the blanket

of clouds above, not expecting

next to new-to-me brick houses

in a strange tree decorated

with circular tufts of leaves 

I would hear a song, the one I’d longed

to hear for thirty days here

longer before my arrival 

just some song I thought 

like just some person, a stranger 

soon becomes true love 

nightingale unseen, I heard you finally