I was really inspired by the portrait entitled “I Just Felt Hurt” by Dame Tracy Emin. It was a part of a four print series that relate to four massive bronze portraits that covered the National Portrait Gallery’s front doors. These portraits represent “every woman throughout time”. They are a celebration of the common bonds of womanhood that binds all women, no matter their age, race, class, or culture. They were also conceptualized as a response to the lack of representation of women in historical art collections.
Dame Tracy Emin is an English artist who creates mostly autobiographical or confessional work. She uses a myriad of mediums, sculpture, paint, drawing, film, photography, neon text and sewn applique. She was once given the name “enfant terrible” of British art, meaning the “terrible child”. Her art was known to be disruptive, chaotic, and confrontational. She forced people to come face to face with harsh realities and the ways in which people negatively impact each other and the world around them. One of her most chaotic works was entitled “Everyone I Have Ever Slept With 1963-1995” which was a tent appliqued with the name of ever person she had ever slept with and was presented in an art show at the Royal Academy in London.
She caused a bit of a scandal in 1995 when she appeared on national tv exceedingly intoxicated and kept repeating several swear words. She was known as uncontrollable force, who would always create the art she wanted, how she wanted to, no matter if it was proper, or deemed appropriate. She seems to emulate the quote “well behaved women rarely make history”.
I’ve always admired women who push the boundaries of what women are “allowed” to do in society. They dare to live as their most genuine and authentic selves, whether or not the world will accept them. They live with reckless acceptance of who they are and never seem to question whether or not there is space for them in the world. If there isn’t space, they’ll create it themselves.
I think that is what called to me in the portrait. I could see how honest Emin was in her portrayal of every woman at their most hurt. She wasn’t afraid to show the vulnerability and emotional turmoil of what women experience living in a world that is dominated by men. There’s like an automatic sadness that women are born with, that they must over come to experience the beauty and joy of being a woman. I feel like she so perfectly captured the days when I feel like the world is working against me and I can’t find my way to my own joy and happiness. There was something so incredible about seeing myself in a portrait that was intended to encapsulate all of woman kind. I felt seen and understood in a way a work of visual art had never made me feel before.
The other works in this collection consist of “There is No Fear”, “This is Forever”, and “I’m Still Beautiful in My Mind”. All of the titles of the works are said to be what Emin was feeling at the time when she painted them. “There is No Fear” was a portrait of women when they understand how truly powerful they are. Women when they finally understand they are an unstoppable force, who can achieve anything she sets out to do. “This is Forever” was one of her darker pieces when she contemplated women as victim to sexual and domestic violence and how our society seems to have taken so many steps backwards in securing protections for women. Lastly, “I’m Still Beautiful in My Mind” came from when she was face to face with aging. When she was trying to reconcile her own aging face and body with the woman she is and how young she still feels.
Theatre in London U of A 